100 things that make me happy

I am using day zero project as a wonderful master-goal list. The idea is that you list 101 things you want to accomplish in 1000 days. I'm finding that this is the perfect amount of time for me -- less than 3 years, so it doesn't seem like big giant vague-future, but still enough time that I can have some lofty goals.

One of my goals on the dayzeroproject site is to identify 100 things that make me happy. This blog post is going to be where I do that!

I might not be able to do all 100 in one sitting... so I'll just be updating when I do.

2. Persie dog

1. Crossing off to-do lists
2. Persie dog
3. Talking about tv shows with my sisters
4. New sock yarn
5. When I see an actor on a tv show, and figure out what else they've been in.
6. Sitting by a fire in my living room
7. Having a Christmas tree in my house
8. The smell of home grown tomatoes

9. Rommel dog and 12. Waking up in a tent

9. Rommel dog
10. Feeding my fish every morning
11. Watching hummingbirds swoop down on the front lawn
12. Waking up in a tent
13. Painting walls new colors
14. Getting things I bought online in the mail
15. Text messages from my dad
16. Soft pillow, made bed, turning off the lamp to go to sleep
17. Guppies
18. Being able to identify plants, and know some of their uses
19. The smell of chlorine

20. Santa Barbara Island

20. Sitting on the bench at the top of the hill on Santa Barbara Island
21. The smell of sunscreen
22. Accomplishing something many days in a row, like drinking water or spinning the sparkwheel on sparkpeople.
23. The color pink.
24. Having people at my house. Especially to bbq or sit around the bonfire in the backyard.
25. Wearing cowboy hats.
26. Watching tv with A - especially our silly shows
27. Lighting a candle in my office
28. Having a clean kitchen counter
29. Listening to a book while walking through my neighborhood
30. Going to wholesome choice Persian market
31. Feeling my baby move

socks made for husband and I by Jill P.

32. Sleeping in a hotel bed
33. Being a part of a book club
34. Being in a theater
35. The Secret Society of Unschooling Moms
36. Apple cinnamon oatmeal with crunchy peanut butter
37. Making jam
38. Drinking ice water with berries or mint
39. Farmers markets
40. Wearing handmade socks made by other people
41. Walking across the grass at school when everyone else is taking the cement
42. Anything written by JK Rowling
43. Getting my hair washed and cut
44. Doing errands I need to do right away, as soon as I realize they should get done
45. Having a made bed

55. baby blanket I made from sock yarn

46. Having flowers in vases at home
47. Cooking on a camp stove
48. Being in the middle of a new, good book for the first time
49. The color combination of turquoise and red
50. Driving to Sacramento every summer
51. Maintaining my 30 Day Challenge group on facebook
52. Bamboo double pointed knitting needles
53. Alpaca yarn. And alpacas in general.
54. Videos of goats. Multiple goats.
55. My barn raising quilt knitted blankets - the baby one that's finished and the big one that is still in progress.
56. Driving through rural parts of California and imagining living there
57. Stirring rich, red marinara sauce in my new blue cast iron dutch oven
58. Buying things at fruit and nut stands
59. The smell of chlorine on my skin
60.

4 Art Projects That Will Make You Slow Down and Take Notice

As a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern, one of the most frequent complaints I hear from my clients is that they feel stressed out and hectic. Parents come to my office after dropping their kids off at a class, between practices, or from play groups. They are busy making their homes enriched, wonderful places for their children to be. If their children don’t need them, their significant other does. I have teenagers come to my office feeling like they are under pressure, too – with schoolwork, conflict in their social groups, or the feeling of being pulled in too many directions. Even the little kids I see these days seem more frantic, being shuttled from activity to activity.

I also have a BA in Recreation. I am all for hobbies, classes, and pursuing your interests. But I also see a pattern among my clients where they fill all the gaps in their days, without leaving time to slow down and see what happens naturally. When you don’t leave some gaps of time, you miss out on some of the sweeter things in life. Small miracles start escaping you. You might stop noticing the tomato plant going from blossom to fruit in the backyard. You might move so fast you miss the lizard scuttling out of your way. The tiny and beautiful details of the world around you gets lost in the rush to get out the door and into the car, to move on to the next thing, the next group, activity, or event.

Even in the midst of a busy life, you can schedule in some time to slow down and learn how to hone your awareness again. Art can be really helpful in this process. Here are several art projects that you can do that will help you slow down and take notice.

1.       Cut a small rectangle out of the center of a piece of cardstock. Hold that piece of paper up about 8-10” from your face. Using colored pencils, draw only what you can see through that cut-out rectangle.  Use this frame to help narrow your focus, eliminate distractions, and take the time to notice all that goes on in that small, compact space.

2.       Go to a favorite place in nature, such as a park, field, or garden. Draw the outline of your hand on a piece of paper. Then place your hand on the ground. Lifting it up, look at what fit underneath that space, and draw it on your paper in as much detail as possible. Focus on how amazing it is that so much detail can fit in the palm of your hand.

3.       Close your eyes and think about your favorite place to visit. Try to imagine you are there, using all of your senses. Use markers and paper to try to recreate it on paper, trying to get in as many details as you can. If someone you know has been there also, enlist their help in coming up with an even richer description, or see if they can recognize the location based on your drawing.

4.       With a partner: choose an object, such as a favorite mug, stuffed animal, or book. Do not tell your partner what you have chosen. Give them crayons and paper, and carefully describe the details of the object while they draw only what you tell them. Make sure you cannot see their paper, and they cannot see your object. When you think you are done describing it, you get to look at what they’ve created and see if your powers of observation and description are finely honed or could use more practice.

10 Lists to Write When You're Feeling Stuck

10 Lists to Write When You're Feeling Stuck

Everyone has moments of feeling stuck. Stymied. Directionless.  It is not a great feeling –it can spiral into apathy, depression, anxiety, and despair. Guilt and shame are frequently associated with it, and it’s hard to get rid of those voices from your past that are telling you that you are doing something wrong.  You might be watching other people accomplishing things and wondering where your motivation went. Maybe you are wondering if you ever had any to start with. Maybe this is a feeling that is far-too familiar, or maybe it’s temporary. Maybe there are other times you might be the most driven person, with goals and checklists. Maybe you’re not, and you've been feeling a little apathetic for a while now.  It could be because you have a few really big projects looming, and you are having difficulty with where to start. Maybe you’re feeling guilty that you aren't doing more, so you don’t do anything at all. Maybe you’re a perfectionist, so if you can’t do something perfectly you don’t try at all. Maybe you are a caretaker, putting other’s needs in front of your own for so long that you are having trouble getting back to you.

 When you’re in that sort of funk, it can be hard to see a way out. I am a big believer of writing – I think putting things down on paper makes you accountable, helps define and articulate your thoughts, and frees up your brain from excessive worry and spiraling. When you are feeling stuck, however, the thought of putting pen to paper, or filling up that blank screen can be intimidating or distasteful. That’s why I love lists. Lists are simple. Lists are easy. Lists can be one-word answers, or you can elaborate. They’re like a warm-up before you exercise, they get the mind all limber and sweaty. So if you are feeling stuck, here is a list of lists to write. Use them how you need to use them – one at a time over the course of weeks, or a marathon-listing right now.

·         10 things I want to do before I die

·         10 beautiful places I have already been

·         My 10 favorite pinterest projects

·         10 of the most energetic songs I know

·         10 things that need to happen to get to one of my “things I want to do before I die”

·         10 most inspiring people

·         10 reasons I Just Don’t Wanna

·         10 times I have been proud of myself

·         10 things that other people are asking of me

·         10 things that could happen if I went outside today

Go forth and write lists! Let this list inspire you to make your own set of lists! Which did you find particularly helpful? Any new ideas you’d like to share?

What I Know I Don't Know Anything About...

Question from a reader:

Do you ever discover any gaps in your learning?

I liked this question a lot. It made me start thinking about allllll the things I know and allllll the things I don't know. Here are a few lists first, off the top of my head, in no particular order:

Some of the things I consider myself decently well-versed in (I would have something to add to a conversation):

• current mental health practices
• sea lions
• native plant life of southern CA/Santa Monica Mountains
• the work of Joss Whedon
• ceramics
• California history
• Civil war fiction
• California's college systems
• Baha'i' culture
• developmental disabilities
• Alaska
• fishing
• volunteer management
• pregnancy and fertility
• raku
• cooking
• goal setting/accomplishing

Things I know more about than I would have thought because someone I talk to a lot is an expert:

• fantasy football
• wildlife fire fighting
• backpacking
• dog training
• feminism
• tv show structure/arcs
• sororities
• Deaf culture

I consider myself an expert in (10 years or 10,000 hours)

• knitting
• yarn
• crocheting
• mixed media art
• event planning
• journalling
• unschooling
• being an extrovert
• reading English

Things I consider serious gaps in my knowledge (that I've run into in the past)

• Geography - capitols, where in the world is...
• Wiring and electricity
• Car mechanics
• The really big universe stuff like black holes and comets, etc.
• The really tiny universe stuff like atoms and molecules
• Re-upholstering furniture
• Baking bread
• Foreign languages

Things I know I can look up online really, really fast if I ever have a question about it:

• Geography - capitols, where in the world is...
• Wiring and electricity
• Car mechanics
• The really big universe stuff like black holes and comets, etc.
• The really tiny universe stuff like atoms and molecules
• Re-upholstering furniture
• Baking bread
• Foreign languages

Ahhh see what I did there? 

So to answer the original question - do I ever find gaps in my knowledge?

Yes! All the time! I have a ton of gaps in my learning. The universe is HUGE, I know a tiny, tiny fraction of information about it. I can't presume to know everything. I know for elementary school and high school they make lists of "what a 4th grader is supposed to know," etc. Is there a list like that for 28 year old's? What would be on that list? With the help of myself, my husband, my friends, my family, and the internet I have managed to survive this many years knowing exactly what I know right now. I live a mostly happy, mostly grateful, pretty darn comfortable life. I have a Master's degree, but I am realizing that the things I learned from that degree only made it onto 1 bullet point in my list (side bar: I can come up with a much bigger list of things I learned from getting my master's, but it's interesting to note that in a quick list of Things I Know it's not super featured). In any case - this happy, comfy person knows what she knows right now. So can I really say that there's anything I *should* have learned? Nope. And as it comes up, I'll learn it.

Over my life, I have made the conscious decision a lot of times to NOT pursue more information about certain topics, and to delve even deeper into others. Our lives are trade-offs. There's no way to know everything. So I think the most important thing to learn is how to learn, and how not to damage learning. That's why I put those last two lists. I know I don't have a great working knowledge of car mechanics - just the other day my husband was stunned that I didn't know how the emergency brake worked. So you know what? I learned. I probably would have learned sooner than age 28 if I lived in San Francisco or somewhere with hills, but I never have, so it never came up.

I remember being in a marine biology class making a connection and having that light-bulb aha moment, when suddenly a bigger connection was made - and I realized how little I knew about the ocean. I remember so clearly that moment when you learn just enough to know how little you know. I felt like I really was standing on the edge of the ocean, and I could suddenly see just how wide, just how deep, just how incredibly vast and enormous it was, and that there was no way I would ever know everything. That's a good feeling to have, every now and then. To realize how much more there is to learn. I don't remember being 2 years old, but I bet I had that feeling (just not so clearly articulated) over and over and over again. I remember when my picture of the world expanded from our neighborhood to include a few other cities. I remember that feeling of expansion. I like that feeling. [sidebar: husband just switched channels and is now watching a show about marine life on animal planet. Coincidence!]

I get that feeling still, when I am watching tv and I recognize an actor from another show, and I open up IMDB and look up their entire filmography. Then that leads to this leads to this leads to that... and more worlds open up, connections are made, and I feel small but strong and looking forward to more.

What do you consider yourself an expert in? Are there areas you know you "lack" information? Is there anything in these lists you'd like me to expand on in a future blog post? Let me know in the comments!